Two Realizations
by Lunatique
Summary: As the war draws to a close, Katara and Zuko realize their feelings. Takes place during the Sozin's Comet arc. Some Zuko/Katara interaction, eventual canon pairings, especially Zuko/Mai.
1. A Sudden Flash of Light

**Two Realizations**

- An _Avatar: The Last Airbender_ fanfic by Lunatique

**1. A Sudden Flash of Light**

A sudden flash of light cuts through the night, and I must move, 'bend, fight, do _something,_ but I cannot. I am frozen in a moment out of time, back when the bottom of the world fell out and I was falling, falling. I fall through that darkness still.

The last time I saw this flash of light, the cruel blue barbs shot through with blinding white, you plummeted to earth from the heights of celestial glory, and you died. You died. I could move then, because I had to, and I didn't know you were gone. I thank the spirits of moon and water to this day that I did not know then, because I would have broken down like a silly little girl and so lost the chance to bring you back.

Move, move, move! One of the worst moments in my life, and I never thought I would relive it this way. The way you smiled at me, the way you laughed, the way you goofed off, the tender shy kiss you planted on my lips - all gone, ashes on the wind. The possibility of that loss, the hurt and betrayal and the _hate_ of it the moment I realized this long journey was never about hope and salvation and all that's nice, but about the raw terror that I could lose you.

A shadow falls across the flash of light; the betrayer, the enemy, the friend, the marvel of a boy who cut away family, country, and history to fight his way bleeding to our enmity, our scorn, and finally our trust - the dear selfless boy stands between me and death, oh Spirits, no. All because I could not move in time, choked like a silly little girl venturing outside her village for the first time.

All because that flash of light is entwined, so sinuous and cold, with the moment you were taken from me. It was brief but more than enough, a reminder of what could be. What would be.

Even as he falls, taking the death-blow that was meant for me, I know too well how horrible I am underneath all I say and all I do. Because I thank everything I can think of that you are far from here, and not lying here in his place. This boy who gave me little flutters everytime I looked at him, that blossoming secret warmth - and I can't even care. It is nothing, he is nothing, candle flame in a gust of wind in the freezing fear of you slipping from my arms forever.

There are other truths in this moment as he channels death through himself and rips the sky with another flash of light, bright as the fireworks you and I watched together, once. The thought of losing you, of holding you close and calling you mine and then finding you no longer there, that fear froze me and drove me away. I had lost too much in my lifetime of war, and I let my life, my war, make a coward of me. So much easier to turn to someone safer, someone I would miss but could still _afford_ to lose-

He collapses into himself, racked with pain, while the she-jackal who is his sister who threw away every rule of the duel and every last claim to honor laughs and laughs. The anger, the need, warms me and I am unfrozen that I may move again. The fear is there, but I can live with it, flow with it, flow around it and so own it.

It's time to act, time to save our friend, even the world if we can. If we still have a world tomorrow and our warm, fragile lives, if we ever meet again, Aang, what will we say to each other? What will I do? Maybe I will put my arms around you, even knowing you might not be there the next moment. Maybe I will tell you what you mean to me, if I have the words. Maybe the words will overflow and be gone from me and I will speak with silence of how you fill my heart to the brim, with a pain so exquisite I will never let it go.

I like to think that I will. I hope I have the courage.

* * *

_Next: Zuko and Katara receive news of the final battle. Plenty of Zutara-ish action if you like that sort of thing._


	2. The Waiting Game

**Two Realizations**

- An _Avatar: The Last Airbender_ fanfic by Lunatique

**2. The Waiting Game**

"Oh, that's just great. I've inherited a nation of idiots!"

A wall hanging bursts into flames behind him, startling the aide who just gave him the news. The Firelord-to-be waves an impetuous hand, but with so much force that the hanging ends up tearing along the line of flame and drifts down to the floor, still burning. He lets out a snarl, then grips at his chest in pain.

"Zuko." In the petrified silence Katara comes around the huge, polished ebony desk to stand beside him. "I think it's time for a healing session."

"I don't have time!" He spreads his arms, encompassing his busy office, the still-smoldering palace, the kingdom and the world outside the windows. "The provinces and colonies need to know about the change in leadership-"

"-for which purpose you dispatched messenger hawks, sir," the aide points out quickly, nervously eyeing his excitable sovereign.

"And the garrisons, the fleets-"

"You've sent hawks and messengers on foot, including an order to the occupation forces in Ba Sing Se to surrender to your uncle," Katara reminds him.

"I don't know how you can all stay so calm." The young lord runs a hand through his hair. "They won't stand down in Ba Sing Se unless my father is out of the picture. We have no news from the Avatar-"

"-so you ordered any news to be brought to you the moment it arrives." Katara advances on him. "It will."

The young lord is starting to look distinctly cornered. "I uh... The palace is on fire?" He ventures, pointing out the windows at the smoke.

"The badly damaged buildings were evacuated, the active flames have been put out, and firebenders are watching for any residual flare-ups." The aide almost seemed to be enjoying himself now.

"My sister-"

"-is locked in a fireproof cell, guarded around the clock." Katara sighs. "It's only been hours since she struck you with lightning. You need to rest."

"But there could be rebellion at any moment, and-"

"-the palace guard is doubled, with scouts and spies on the lookout for any suspicious movement." The aide bows. "So far there is none."

"All this." Zuko is impatient again, returning to the original grievance that resulted in the demise of the wall hanging. "We're on top of everything, and no one can tell me where my girlfriend is in a country I supposedly rule!" His voice rises steadily as he speaks, becoming almost a scream of frustration at the end. Then he winces again.

"Zuko..." Katara puts a hand to his back, real concern in her face. "_There's nothing you can do._ Everything is in confusion, her family is far away in the Earth Kingdom, and Azula isn't exactly forthcoming. You're not accomplishing anything by working yourself up and irritating your wound." She quirks an eyebrow. "You're also making everyone nervous and getting in the way of their jobs. You're coming up to your room. Now."

The aide fairly radiates agreement, as much as he can without overtly nodding or speaking out. "I urge you to rest, my lord, and heal." He bows deeply.

The acting Firelord growls, but finding himself outnumbered and outmaneuvered, relents. "All right." He lets Katara lead him away by the arm, but calls over his shoulder: "I want news brought to me the instant it arrives. About the Avatar, Ba Sing Se, or Mai! Or any news at all."

"I think they heard you the first eight times," Katara mutters, locking her arm around his and physically pulling him out the door. He mutters something impolite under her breath, but doesn't resist. Everyone left in the office exhales in relief and falls to their work in earnest, bringing documents in and out, signing papers, keeping the cogs turning, no matter what, of a nation on the brink.

* * *

Her hands glow cool and blue over his bare chest, the new wound and likely his latest scar-in-the-making livid against the tawny skin.

"Does that hurt?" Katara asks, looking down at him from where she sits next to him on the bed.

"A bit," admits Zuko, looking pained as he lies shirtless on the red-and-gold sheets. "It's uh- argh!" He grimaces as the water around her hands flares brightly blue. "That really burned there for a second," he says after the light goes back to normal, face slightly pale and slicked with a sheen of perspiration.

"Some of the lightning energy is still there." Katara says absently, brow furrowed with concentration. "I have to neutralize it. I'll try to be gentle, but this might hurt."

Zuko nods and waits, then grits his teeth and strains as her hands give another bright glow. He relaxes back into the sheets, his breathing labored. "I think that's better."

"Good. Let's bandage you up again." Katara takes her hands from his chest, bending the water back into the porcelein bowl by the bedside. "You can scream, you know."

"I think I did enough screaming back there," he says ruefully, sitting up to let her bandage him. "Sorry about that."

"It's not like I didn't know you were a paranoid jerk." She punches him lightly on the arm as she positions herself behind him, holding gauze and a roll of bandage.

"Ow, my manly pride." He grins, and helps her fold the gauze into position over the wound and holds it in place while she winds the bandage around it.

"You're really worried about her, aren't you," her voice is soft as she kneels behind him on the bed to pull the bandages tight, unwinding the roll in her hand as she goes.

"I can't believe she stood up to Azula for me." He bows his head. "I always said I wanted her to believe in something, just not..."

"Just not you?" Katara sounds amused as she brings up her left hand to meet her right in front of his chest, her arms briefly around him from behind. "You can't decide what she chooses to be passionate about, you know."

"I know. That's what her mother did." He raises his arms silghtly so she can wind the bandage up his body. "I just wanted her safe," he whispers as Katara leans forward over his shoulder to check her work, her ear almost next to his lips.

"I know." She draws back to sit on her heels, pulling the bandage across his upper back and smoothing it down with her other hand.

"And you're worried about him, aren't you." Zuko gazes out the window on the far wall, east where Aang is fighting, or perhaps has finished fighting, the decisive battle of this long war, the one that Zuko's own throne depends on. Katara follows his gaze, then lowers her eyes to the shrinking roll of bandage in her hand.

"I told you, he's going to win." She passes the bandage roll in front again. "I believe in him."

"But you're worried about him."

She gives the back of his head a mock glare. "Of course I am."

She finishes up the bandaging and pins the end it into place. "There!" She gives his shoulder a brisk pat, then lets her hand rest there. "All done. You can put your shirt on now."

Zuko brings his hand up to his shoulder and places it over hers. "Thank you, Katara," he says quietly, turning his head to look at her.

She blushes at that. "I already told you, I'm the one who should be thanking you."

They meet each other's eyes for a few moments more, both wanting and hesitating to speak, when there is a commotion in the hall and the door flies open.

"My lord!"

Zuko and Katara both start violently and all but fling themselves away from each other, jumping to their feet on opposite sides of the bed; but the servant who just burst in is too excited to notice.

"A message from General Lak, on the coast of the Earth Kingd-"

"Give it to me." Zuko snatches the proffered scroll from the man, tearing the official seal with impatient fingers. Katara draws close, her eyes wide and focused on his face as he reads. The servant dawdles openly in the doorway eavesdropping, taking advantage of the fact that no one has the presence of mind to send him away.

"What does it say?" She whispers at last, unable to bear the wait any longer.

Zuko looks up from the unfurled scroll, his face blank. "My father is alive."

Katara stifles a scream behind her hand, then grabs Zuko's arm. "Aang? What about Aang?" Her voice is sharp with anguish, almost a shriek.

Zuko snaps out of his shock, realizing what he just said. "No. No, Katara. My father... Aang... here." He thrusts the report into her hand, and then suddenly crushes her to his chest in a fierce hug, making it impossible for her to read it. "He did it! That crazy kid beat him without killing him, I never thought-"

"What? What? How is that even-" The tears well up in Katara's eyes as she hugs him back reflexively, tears of shock, of disbelief and incredulous joy. She tries to bring up the scroll to read, hampered by Zuko's tight grip.

"Aang took away the old bastard's firebending!" Zuko lets loose with a whoop of pure joy, lifting her up and spinning her around, making her drop the scroll in startlement. She is laughing and crying at the same time, too many emotions rushing in at once to process in any coherent, dignified way.

In the midst of all the mad spinning he loses his balance and they stumble against the door together, slamming it shut with the force of the collision. The servant is long gone, no doubt eager to spread the news. Katara grimaces, rubbing the back of her head where she banged it against the door. "Ow."

"S- sorry." Zuko can't stop laughing, trying to balance himself against the door, effectively pinning her to it with his body. They cling to each other, reeling from he intensity of it all, then meet each other's eyes and hug again.

"It's finally over," whispers Katara.

They loosen the embrace and look into each other's eyes, their faces only inches apart. There is a strange intensity in his eyes, and she is blushing hard. His face lowers towards hers, his lips opening; her lids drift half closed, her head tilting back.

And then a change comes over them both, almost at the same time. Palm against his chest, she pushes him back with the gentlest of touches but he is already drawing back, releasing her.

"I should make arrangements." Zuko smiles a little sadly. "Wanna come help keep me in line?"

"I probably should," Katara snorts, her eyes gentle and understanding. "Let's go... Firelord Zuko."

There are snatches of regret, just little hints of sadness in a gaze or in a touch as they make their way down the hall together, boisterous in their joy. But their laughter and their voices are untainted by doubt, and they seem well content as they walk side by side toward the new world they have created through their long trial by fire.

* * *

___Yes, all this takes place after Chapter 1, after Katara's realization during the Agni Kai. The human heart is beastly complicated sometimes, no?_

_Alternate exchange: This is the original version of the "news" conversation, which I scrapped because it didn't make sense for a servant to know the news ahead of the Firelord. There was still one amusing bit there, though, that I thought you might enjoy._

"My lord! (...) News from the Avatar."

"Tell me!" Zuko all but shouts as he advances toward the door, alarming the man.

"The-" the servant falters, uncertain exactly how to go on.

"_Well?_" Zuko is in the servant's face now, menacing in his urgency. The servant stammers.

Katara runs to Zuko's side, putting a calming hand on his arm. "Tell us," she pleads.

The servant, evidently deciding to go the neutral route, speaks somberly: "Your lord father has been defeated at he coast of the Earth Ki-"

Zuko doesn't let him finish. "And the Avatar?"

"The Avatar is unharmed," the servant answers. Next to Zuko, Katara lets out a squeal of joy and covers her mouth with both hands, eyeing Zuko with concern. He can't help the grin on his face, but there is a distant look in his eyes, somewhere between sorrow and relief.

"And you're sure about this?" He asks the man, who nods.

"Very certain, sir."

"Very well," says the young Fire Lord, smiling yet subdued. "Arrange for my father's body to be brought back, and the Avatar to be welc-"

"My lord?" The servant looks at him with concern, and something of a dawning horror. "Your father's... body?"

"Well the Avatar killed him, we should at least give him a funeral, right?" Zuko flares. "Or do you suggest we abandon him to the crows?"

"N-no, my lord! I mean..." the servant gapes. "Your father lives."

Into the thunderous silence, the man goes on: "His... his firebending was somehow taken away by the Avatar. He is the Avatar's prisoner, but he lives."

A slow grin spreads over Zuko's face, lighting it up. "That... that crazy kid. He did it. He really did it!"

The next moment he has caught up Katara in his arms, spinning her around the room while she laughs and cries at the same time, unable to process so many emotions in any dignified way.

___And next up, the final chapter from Zuko's point of view. Thanks for reading, and please leave a review if you feel so inclined!_


	3. Homecoming

**Two Realizations**

- An _Avatar: The Last Airbender_ fanfic by Lunatique

**3. Homecoming**

"But don't ever." Her finger is sharp in his sternum, her eyes burning. "Break up with me." Jab. "Again."

There is a touch of guilt in his smile, for a reason she knows and a reason she does not, though she may guess. There is also a touch of fear, because he remembers her little throwing knives and how deadly they are. Not that he thinks she will use them against him. He hopes.

But there is neither guilt nor fear when he folds her into his arms, the well-remembered feel of her body against his, the scent of her hair, the warmth that sustained since their childhood and sustains him still. Being in her arms is like coming home without a thing to prove, no price entry other than being himself. The concept is alien enough that it thrills him.

Moments or hours later he draws back, still still holding her. "I think I can manage that, Mai." He brings up her hand to his lips, and is pleased to hear her breath catch when he presses her fingers to his lips.

"So you know what's good for you." She lifts her other hand to his cheek, feather-light strokes leaving trails of warmth. "I can respect that." His eyes flutter shut briefly as her fingertips trace his mouth. Can't the coronation wait a few hours, or better yet, days?

They have declared something here, and they both know it. Almost any other girl, he might have wondered if it's ambition. But Mai, if anything, alarms him with her lack of calculation and even self-preservation where he is concerned. He will need that loyalty in the days ahead, and will need someone he can be loyal to in turn. Embracing like this, they watch each other's backs.

"This where she got you?" Mai opens the top of his robe to peer at his bandaged chest, with the total lack of self-consciousness they have around each other. Flesh of his flesh and blood of his blood; touching and being touched both natural as breathing.

"Yeah." He scratches his head, wondering how much she knows about the circumstances of his injury. "It's okay, though. I had a good healer."

"So I've heard," Mai smirks, closing his robe back up. "People talk, you know."

"Uh, yeah... people say a lot of things." A corner of his mouth pulls down in a grimace of fear. That damnable play! The damnable palace staff! He remembers her throwing knives again.

"My lord." His attendants are at the door, here to finish the rest of his preparations. He greets them with a genuine if nervous grin, suddenly eager to escape to the coronation.

"I'll see you after the ceremony... my lord." Mai is all but chucking to herself as she pats him lightly on the chest and walks from the room. He can't help but suspect she enjoys the chance to watch him squirm.

As he sits down to be made presentable, Zuko remembers how close he was to making the rumors real, how close he was to Katara while the elation of Aang's victory carried them both sky-high. He wonders what might have happened had he acted on that moment. She is remarkable enough a girl that he may wonder for a long time.

He wonders, too, if Mai knows that he would never make any choice that might lose him the chance, the _right,_ to hold a gloomy, lanky girl with her deadly little knives. If it clouds his conscience with Mai, it isn't a path worth taking.

He thinks she knows this, his girl and his sustenance. He will find ways to show her. He has found his place in the world, knows who he is and whom he wants by his side, and he is home.

* * *

_And that's all of it. I wrote this story because I like the canon couples but thought they weren't handled all that well toward the end. First there was Katara's abrupt about-face from "I'm confused, Aang," to "C'mere you big hero, kissy kissy!" I also didn't get why she froze up in the face of Azula's lightning bolt when she had faced Azula before and almost won. I decided to make those two wrongs into a right. Then there was Zuko acting like he hadn't cared enough to find out about Mai's fate before the coronation, despite, you know, controlling the country for days. I tried to fill in those perceived gaps, and to give resolution to the Katara/Zuko tension from the standpoint of someone who doesn't ship them but can see where the ship is coming from. Thank you for reading, and please leave a review if you have the time._


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